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Om konsten att säga nej
NEJ!, Neeej! Nej! Nejnejnejnej!
Jag är vanligtvis ingen nej-sägare, vilket kanske inte skulle skada om jag var någon gång ibland, men sedan valpen kom in i våra liv så är det bara att konstatera att ordet har blivit det mest använda i mitt vokabulär.
Förvisso kan det sägas på många olika sätt. Kort och hårt när valpen för femtioelfte gången i ordningen ställer sig på bakbenen vid matbordet i hopp om att få något eller när han ännu en gång vägrar att röra sig eftersom det kommer några bakom oss, vilket innebär att han absolut måste hälsa
Ett lite mindre hårt nej när han nafsar lite efter fingrarna när vi gosar eller bara en radda nej när han ännu en gång river på väggen (signalen för att han behöver gå ut), trasslar sig in i en sladd som leder till en lampa som givetvis välter och landar på valpen. Eller när jag ser hur frukostmackan med leverpastej långsamt lämnar tallriken utan att jag överhuvudtaget är iblandad.
I de lägena låter jag som en gammal LP-skiva som hakat upp sig ”nejnejnejnejnejnej”.
I alla hundböcker och alla tv-program om hunduppfostran så poängteras alltid vikten av konsekvens.
Jodå, både jag och valpen är lika konsekventa. Han studsar konsekvent omkring på alla fyra så fort vi stöter på en annan hund och jag säger förstås ”nej, nej, nej”.
Han vill konsekvent haka på grannskapets katter istället för matte, trots att jag upprepar lika konsekvent ”nej, nej, nej”.
Nu kan det ju kanske uppfattas som att valpen, i konsekvensens namn, konsekvent slår dövörat till.
Nejdå. Så illa är det inte. Vissa ord har han ganska omgående förstått innebörden av. Råkar någon förbipasserande nämna ordet söt så innebär det att valpen slår i bromsen i väntan på att vederbörande ska stanna och gulla med honom. Ordet mat, som det matvrak han är, kan väcka honom ur den djupaste sömnen på en hundradels sekund.
Valpen har lyckligtvis hörsammat vissa ”nejnejnejnej”. Exempelvis har sladdbitning mist lite av sin tjusning, vilket särskilt glädjer husse efter att han tvingats betala alldeles för mycket pengar för en ny högtalarsladd. Begagnade portionssnusar och cigarettfimpar är också ganska ointressanta numera och det är inte lika spännande att plocka små kolbitar ur den öppna spisen.
Så det är tydligen det här som är konsekvens för en hundägare, att ständigt säga nej. Vansinnigt tråkigt är det. Jag kanske skulle testa att säga ja till allt istället.
Nej, förresten. Så roligt ska vi inte ha det.

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